Saturday, April 7, 2007

March 21

21 march

We have past the one-week mark and I feel my own life changing. The weekend was spent driving back and forth to Albany with Sonny for that last CD leg…but it was not to be. He got up both days on his long down. On Sunday, barely 5 minutes from the house, 630am, I was trying to get a vial of pill curing down with some water and it all came up…all over me and the door of the car. I spent the drive mopping up, drying out, in some other world where the sun was coming up and I was floating through space.

But I have continued to evidence the energy and independence that have surfaced in the middle of this project. I think behind it all, my medication is working. I cannot imagine I would have driven that drive, 2 days in a row, by myself, and have gotten up at 530 to do it before.

Maudie. She is a person. Her age has somewhat solidified who she is, and she is no pushover. She is gentle, loving, calm, strong, intuitive, willing. All I might have wanted and more. She is big too…and has the demeanor of a lioness, much more so than a wolf…that gravitas is both ephemeral and physical. In her groan as she lies down heavily; the weight of her paw when she lifts it to me.

She likes it when we are all together. She does not much like the car. She has grown fond of her various crates and she seems particularly drawn to lie in the soft crate with the Critter Bed I picked up for her from Claudia in Albany.

I need to start forging a plan for more outings. The month is a time of settling in, but there is a kind of bonding in going out together. The car is key. I ordered a harness so she can sit in the back seat and maybe be more comfortable. I think she is very uncomfortable in the open square of the way back of the wagon…

Food is an issue much on my mind. I started out throwing too many new things at her, and now I am feeding her a kibble breakfast with yogurt, a spoonful of Gus’ canned and a probiotic. Supper is raw. I have a 10lb bag of Essex Cottage Farms I should make up some more and get her off the kibble…but there is a big bag of it to eat. I suppose we could return it…. or just stay the course we’re on until it’s gone.

It is finals week. I have a small stack of work to do and then I have a week and the selvedge of this week. I do need to plan 2 classes. This Saturday is the AAT conference hosted by Dove Lewis. 830am.

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